12.31.20 EDU_Summy's Laundry List

I ghosted a close friend of mine for over a year.

She and I had once been like sisters to each other, becoming inseparable after doing volunteer work together. But then, over time, I faded out of her life without telling her why. My only remaining connection to her was through a WhatsApp group where she and I showed off how wonderful our (now separate) lives were.Except I was still connected to her...in my head.In fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Here are a few of the things my head was fighting with her (without her!) about:

• She’s so competitive. That’s so stupid for her to compete with me, as we have such a large age gap and we are at different phases of life.

• She gets so insecure when other people become close to me.

• She points out the faults of others, rather than focusing on the good work they do. 

• She took advantage of my unconditional love for her and made me do things, like take actions against other people, that I now deeply regret. She didn’t stop me.

Now, had I EVER for a moment thought to tell my friend what I was really thinking about her? No way! Trust me, I had a whole other list of reasons why it was better to stay silent and run away. That other list went something like this:

• Why dig up the past? Shouldn’t I focus on the present moment? 

• Why would I go through the pain of speaking the truth and hurting her and her ego?  

• I should not hurt anyone with my words – they should be happy in my presence and go back smiling.

Yes. I did happen to notice that my list on me and my “Why Nots” was nicer than what I had on her...With help from my coach and Inner.U STUDENT, I asked myself a life-changing question: “Am I really able to live in the present moment as long as I’m holding the past against my friend?”

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Talk Soon!Gaby JordanHG EDU Principal