Banish Your Vice for Good in 6 Steps

It’s almost summertime, and for many, that means fun, food, and festivities. It’s also time to keep an eye out for your beach brat.

Long-time Handel Group clients know that the “brat” is the name we give the voice in your head that sounds very much like a tantruming four-year-old. Summertime is a perfect time to turn up the heat on the brat. Why? Because the brat is a big fan of your vices. And for most of us, vacation is a perfect time to indulge just a little more than we usually do.

Vices are the things you feel bad about doing, but still are. The thing you wish would go away but persists and haunts you.

Why not use the sun this summer to shine a light on them?

Because when you let your vice run rampant in your life, it continues to haunt you. It keeps you stuck, feeling guilty and powerless. Most people believe their personalities are fixed and that change is impossible. They say things to themselves like, “I’m just not disciplined enough,” or “I could never do that”. Your brat will sell you on the idea that you can “never do that.”

The real answer is “of course you can.” Of course, you can set limits and boundaries. Other people have. You can too. The question is, will you? Your Lower Self, which enables the vice, will answer the same way every time. No, you can’t do it. It’s too hard. It doesn’t matter. Your Lower Self is convincing you to keep the vice and stay small in your life, instead of tackling solutions to the real problems. Your vice is a big diversion from what you’re here to do: live a fulfilled and happy life.

What are you doing excessively in your life that you know is bad for you? Is it alcohol? Sweets? Scrolling? We all have a dark side, and it shows up through our vices. What vice is your Lower Self talking to you about right now? That is the vice you should consider taking down today. I’m going to show you how to get out of “purgatory,” where your vice keeps you. Here are six basic steps for releasing your vice’s grip on you!

1) Own Your Vice

The first step to quitting a vice is to own it, say it, admit it. “I like sweets now and again, but lately, it’s been more like, again and again.” Now, owning a vice is an art. Usually you don’t hear people cut directly to the truth and say, “This is what sucks about me and I want to do something about it.” Instead, people keep their vices hidden. Why? Why do you hide your dark side?

Your dark side has an agenda: it doesn’t want to give up your vice. You have figured out a way to accommodate the vice and live with it, even though you know it’s bad for you and you wouldn’t prescribe it to anyone else. You wouldn’t teach it to your children, so why do you want to do it?

2) Choose a Life Without Your Vice

If you want to take down a vice, you must want a life without it. It’s important to understand that there is a “purgatory” that happens when you keep a vice around. When I say purgatory, I am referring to the suffering that occurs in the areas where you are spiritually and physically stuck. If you keep the cigarettes, there are things that you’ll have to give up in life. The vice is robbing you of aspects of life that you don’t even realize.

3) Describe the Impact of Your Vice

Once you have chosen a life without your vice, it’s important to bring a new perspective to it. Quit defending the vice. Instead, capture how it has been impacting your life. Describe your purgatory. The more lighthearted you can be about it, the quicker the vice will release its grip.

Yours might sound something like these:

* I pick potato chips over love.

* I pick TV over intimacy.

* I choose the Internet over friendship.

Be brutally honest. Give it a funny name! This will take away the guilt, drama, and shame surrounding your vice. When you tell the truth about your vice, it diminishes the “vice grip.” It also clarifies what you may be avoiding in your life.

4) Make Promises to Do Something About It

When tackling a vice, there are two options: choose it or lose it. If you choose to keep the vice, then you give up the right to bitch about it (or its impacts) to anyone. No more drama. No whining or complaining about it. Instead of saying, “Oh, I’ve tried to quit smoking so many times, it’s so hard,” you have to be able to say, “Okay, I am not quitting, and I am choosing smoking over my health.” But remember, you are stuck in your spiritual purgatory until you take down the vice.

My recommendation is to lose the vice. Make a promise to stop doing it or set strict rules around it. Mean it, write out the promise, and read it every day. Create your life without that vice or keep it on a tight leash.

5) Create Consequences to Keep Your Promises

The best way to keep a promise is to put in a consequence whenever you break that promise. For example, if you smoke a cigarette, you pay $10 to a friend or do an extra workout the next morning. If you cheat on your diet, you lose your wine on Friday night. Choose a consequence that works for you. The right consequence will keep you from breaking your promise.

6) Tell Your Friends

It’s important to tell everyone you know about your vice. This will help you establish a support system. It will also make you accountable to others about no longer engaging in your vice. Going public in your circle of friends makes it real because you can’t hide from it anymore. Tell everyone you’ve quit smoking. Go on a diet and share your experience with them. Confess about needing to curb your Internet use. Telling everyone your promised actions AND your consequences helps cement your plan and keep you on it.

Remember, you kept the vice around because it felt good. You got to avoid feeling fear, avoid the challenge, avoid rejection, and avoid feeling your heart. For your vice, you sacrificed pride and your spiritual evolution. In short, keeping your vice around will never bring you lasting happiness. You will always feel like you’re in some type of purgatory, with your dark side calling the shots. Now, we’d like to help you come out into the light. Isn’t that what summers are for?

Love,
Lauren

P.S.- Change can be hard. But once you imagine that a better, vice-free life is possible for you, you can’t un-imagine it. Get your mind under new management with me in a small 5 person coaching group starting soon. There are only 3 spots left. Sign up here:

Please reply to this email if you are unsure whether this group is the right fit for you. We offer a variety of options to suit your time and budget. Let us help you live proud and happy.