Corrected Links!

We fixed the links! We apologize for any inconvenience.

In today’s newsletter:

• Go ahead and breakdown: Telling the truth about what’s not working is the first step to changing your life.

• Level up your love life: Final call! Join Lauren Zander for small group coaching to help you find and keep love.

• Work with a coach: Schedule a free consultation with us to see how we can help you!

Everyone has times in their life when they ought to admit defeat. Whether it’s in your love life, how you handle your money, how you handle friendships or something else, there really is a point at which you should do yourself a favor and admit you’ve hit a wall. I’ve seen this in everyone I’ve ever met. If you have a spot in your life where something just isn’t working and you’re at your wits end, it’s time to admit you’ve lost the battle. 

You have a pattern and you need to break it. When you find yourself in a familiar situation and you start to feel that inkling of déjà vu, you’re in your pattern again! The first thing you think is the same stuff you always think: “oh I keep failing. Oh I’ll never get the career I want. Oh I never get the man I want.  Oh I never . . .,” and on and on. If you can start to see there’s something screwy about how you keep doing the same thing over and over, then it’s time to break this pattern you’re perpetuating. So instead of running into the same wall over and over, the most important thing you should do when something in your life falls apart is become a “puddle.” The puddle is a part of the Handel Method® that’s especially designed for recognizing life’s “maybe it’s you” moments so that you can finally surrender, and in your yielding, find a way out. 

I have never met a person who doesn’t have at least one area of life that’s killing them and who shouldn’t just stop right now and cry. Interestingly, most people don’t know when they should actually wave the white flag and cry. Oftentimes, what happens is you actually perpetuate staying stuck and defeated: you keep going and going, trying to blame others along the way. You may have some kind of a repeating theme, like “my father left and so I’m bad with men,” or “my parents didn’t help me in college, so that’s why I’m still broke.” You may even have some level of understanding of your theme or enlightened version of your story, in which you realize that you’re in your pattern. Most people in that space, whether they understand they’re in a pattern or not, do NOT see a way out! So what I am telling you is to wake up and cry. Wake up and have your pity party. Turn yourself into a puddle in an area of your life.  

There is good reason to puddle and declare defeat. Sometimes it’s true that the only way out is to hit bottom. You hear it for an alcoholic; you hear it in other areas of life. You hear of people declaring bankruptcy and of people coming to terms with their lives at that level. But you might need to cause one in order to stop perpetuating the same pattern in your life. Can you declare an area bankrupt? Can you cause a pity party? Can you decide you need to puddle?  And the answer is yes.

This whole coaching moment is for learning you need to say “mercy” in an area of your life. Once you do, then you can move into the next phase, where you devise your new action plan. But there’s no skimping on the pity party. You cannot pretend that you want to scream mercy, like, “oh well, maybe, sort of, mercy, but really it’s my mother’s fault” or “it’s my business partner’s fault.” The most important rule for screaming mercy and turning into a puddle is that you blame you 100%. Blaming yourself is not in order to say it’s your fault, then feel bad about yourself and punish yourself. You finally get that “maybe it’s you.” It’s a very serious, different type of declaration of “I’m responsible.” It’s a profound place where you realize “no one’s coming to save me. I got myself here and I’m the only one who can get myself out of here, if I face myself.” The moment that you can say all of that, welcome to the puddle. Now start to cry. Literally cry. Turn yourself into the puddle you belong being. Force a breakdown and let yourself cry over it.

Once you throw out your white flag and declare you’re a puddle, you’re closer to success than you’ve probably been in a long time because it means you’re admitting there is a pattern in your life. You’re admitting that you have not had the insight as to why you’ve been perpetuating that pattern, and you admit it to yourself. If you can be that honest and that vulnerable, then you’re ready to embrace the bottom so you can find your way out. 

Love, 

Lauren

P.S. If you don’t have a coach, it might be quite remarkable to have a few sessions with one. Please reach out for more information on coming to terms and moving on with your life and schedule a free consultation here.

LAST CHANCE TO SIGN UP!

Join Lauren Zander for this exceptional small group coaching experience!

If you are trying to figure out love - what you want, who you want, what you need to do differently, your patterns, habits, and traits, and how to change - THIS GROUP IS FOR YOU. See the details below and click the link to sign up!

DETAILS: 

• April 19th through June 21th

• 1030-1130am ET

• Group will be held over Zoom.

• $2000 investment

• Must own Inner.U to register.

Sign Up or Buy Inner.U Here!

Schedule a FREE consultation with us HERE! We can’t wait to connect with you!