LIFE-IU-NEWS-AWARENESS-09.28.21

I am calling the latest chapter of my love life: Love Potion #9.I am half joking and half roasting myself for being at it again.I am back on the hunt for the one.I have been here before and I know this chapter won’t last long.I know I will find a man again, but this time is different…This time I really want him to be the last one.I like to think the 8 before this one were a warm-up,a countdown if you will...4,3,2, the one!Blast off!When my last relationship ended, at the beginning of the pandemic, mind you, and this 9th chapter started, I used these numbers against myself.I thought... “Another failed relationship, how embarrassing.” “Best to give up and admit defeat.”“Why try, you suck at this love thing.” "What if I fail again and look bad?!” I wanted to give up. It sounded easier.This was a sneaky form of self-protection (see my inner-Chicken staying safe, small, and alone). I could protect myself by saying I didn’t want it so that I wouldn’t look bad going for it AGAIN.But there was a niggling truth that I could not ignore: I really do want to share my life with a special man. I really do want to love and be loved in an intimate relationship. I am rallying and getting in the game and even having fun doing it. But before I jumped right back in, I wanted to be sure I was clear that I had learned why my past relationships ended and what I was going to do differently this time.Thankfully, we have a method for this.Step 1: Identify Your PatternsI went on the lookout for patterns in my relationship history. This is Module 3 in Inner.U LOVE.I am doing this to make sure I have gotten clear about the learnings from past relationships so I don’t repeat them. I want to upgrade who I am in my relationships.One of the patterns that I found is where I am stingy with my love and hold back giving affection generously. Yikes.I am doing the work to improve on this now, even before I am in an intimate relationship.I have a promise to hug my daughter daily and tell her something that I appreciate about her. I know that might sound minimal but you are getting an idea of the cold Ice Queen that I can be.I am on my way to warming up and attracting a warm human.We attract where we are at, right?Which brought me to my next lesson learned.Step 2: Fix Your PickerI was not doing a great job at picking the right man for me.My picker was broken.This may seem like a total duh given that all my relationships had ended. But I thought maybe it was their fault and not mine...

You got this!Kimberly Cabot

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