LIFE-NEWS-AWARENESS-09.28.21

I am calling the latest chapter of my love life: Love Potion #9.I am half joking and half roasting myself for being at it again.I am back on the hunt for the one.I have been here before and I know this chapter won’t last long.I know I will find a man again, but this time is different…This time I really want him to be the last one.I like to think the 8 before this one were a warm-up,a countdown if you will...4,3,2, the one!Blast off!When my last relationship ended, at the beginning of the pandemic, mind you, and this 9th chapter started, I used these numbers against myself.I thought... “Another failed relationship, how embarrassing.” “Best to give up and admit defeat.”“Why try, you suck at this love thing.” "What if I fail again and look bad?!” I wanted to give up. It sounded easier.This was a sneaky form of self-protection (see my inner-Chicken staying safe, small, and alone). I could protect myself by saying I didn’t want it so that I wouldn’t look bad going for it AGAIN.But there was a niggling truth that I could not ignore: I really do want to share my life with a special man. I really do want to love and be loved in an intimate relationship. I am rallying and getting in the game and even having fun doing it. But before I jumped right back in, I wanted to be sure I was clear that I had learned why my past relationships ended and what I was going to do differently this time.Thankfully, we have a method for this.Step 1: Identify Your PatternsI went on the lookout for patterns in my relationship history.This is Module 3 in Inner.U LOVE, our online coaching course. The elixir to love, dating, playing, relationships, and marriage. This online coaching course gives you the tools to find, fix, and figure out whatever, whomever, and how many-ever it is that you truly and wholeheartedly want.I am doing this to make sure I have gotten clear about the learnings from past relationships so I don’t repeat them. I want to upgrade who I am in my relationships.One of the patterns that I found is where I am stingy with my love and hold back giving affection generously. Yikes.I am doing the work to improve on this now, even before I am in an intimate relationship.I have a promise to hug my daughter daily and tell her something that I appreciate about her. I know that might sound minimal but you are getting an idea of the cold Ice Queen that I can be.I am on my way to warming up and attracting a warm human.We attract where we are at, right?Which brought me to my next lesson learned.Step 2: Fix Your PickerI was not doing a great job at picking the right man for me.My picker was broken.This may seem like a total duh given that all my relationships had ended. But I thought maybe it was their fault and not mine...

You got this!Kimberly Cabot

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