Survival Guide: Home for the Holidays

Could you imagine throwing a holiday dinner party and not preparing for it? I’ll give you a scenario. It’s November 28th. There’s a knock on the door. Your family arrives all dressed up for Thanksgiving, and you lie on the sofa watching Succession in your sweats. You offer them a half bottle of wine you opened days earlier, which is starting to go south and tell them they can help themselves to leftovers in the fridge. Would you ever do that? Of course not!

Well, guess what? Most of us arrive at holiday events so emotionally unprepared that we might as well be unshowered and in our pajamas. I am referring to people who do not mentally design how they want the holiday to go and believe they have no control over what happens. That’s not true!

I will give you two tips on preparing for the holidays with your family and making it as great and connected as possible, no matter your situation. (I will share 2 more tips next week.)

HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE

1) Design your holiday!
Have a vision of your holiday. Sit down with a notebook and imagine how you want your holiday to unfold. If you know Aunt Margaret is a horrible cook, then you could imagine bringing a dish that everyone loves. If topics could poison the well at dinner, then declare a ban on particular subjects. For example, your sister Susie gets sad every holiday because your mom asks her where her grandchildren are when Susie is 44 years old and still single. Tell your mom not to bring up grandchildren around Susie. If mixing politics and wine creates loud, heated debates in your family, then you imagine having a sweet conversation with the two main political instigators in your family and asking them for a moratorium on politics for the holiday season. See if that makes the holiday more fun for everyone.

2) Beware of any personal pity parties you feel you are entitled to throw for yourself this year.
Self-judgment is very popular over the holidays, especially as we compare our lives to where they were last holiday season or if we believe we aren’t where we should be. You're not alone if you’re disappointed in some area of your life.  Everyone is disappointed about something from this past year.  The good news is that even though the year's end seems final, it’s not. Time is a continuum, and today is just as good a day as any to start a new, better habit and/or to stop berating yourself (it does no good anyway).

In the meantime, when you’re with the family, here’s a trick: stop focusing on yourself and pay attention to what’s happening with the people around you.  My friend sometimes has to remind me to shift my focus this way. He’ll say, “It’s not about you, Kimberly.”  Maybe someone you’re close to could remind you if you forget.

Choose to have happy holidays because you say so. Then, make them great. You still have time. Start today!

Believe that this is the best life ever, and rock your holiday season!

Join our 8-week Masterclass to get that new, better habit started. Lauren will coach you to get clear on what you want to do and do it before the year's end.

If you need extra help this season, schedule a free 30-minute consultation get the support you need at a price that fits your budget:

With gratitude and appreciation,
Kimberly, Lauren, and the Inner.U team